Body Language - Human Relations - Topics & Resources - Library Home at Fox Valley Technical College

The snowball technique for conversation

Lifehack.com: Snow-ball technique for listening

Pay attention (Feel what they are feeling) – Learn a and store up a number of different facts about people which could all become conversations on their own.

Reword their wording – Whatever they say, take the main point and summarize in your own words back to them.

Add your opinion on their topic – Now that you’ve rephrased their point, add your opinion or build on their point in a positive way.

Dig deeper – Ask "Why" questions to learn someone’s true feelings, motivations, and interest.

Don't judge - If someone says something you don't like to hear, judge yourself, not them. (Later, ask your self why you were uncomfortable.)

Recall – Conversation points made earlier, and bring it up. Recalling something they said previously will demonstrate your excellent listening skills and interest in what they were saying.

Make Body Language Your Superpower

Make Body Language Your Superpower
more...less...
Published on May 14, 2014

Making Body Language Your Superpower - an instructional video on using body language effectively. Presented by Stanford graduate students

Nonverbal Communication: The Unspoken Message

Nonverbal Communication: The Unspoken Message
more...less...
In this webinar you will learn about the role non-verbal communication plays in our daily interactions. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication is a powerful tool that will help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at work and at home.

Joining the group

Respect the space It can be difficult to introduce yourself to a group conversation. By reading the groups body language you will know if you are welcome to interrupt or not. A 2-person conversation is that, only for 2 people; unless they are both have their body open or angled to the room – this indicates they are open to an interruption. 3-people conversations are open on all 3 sides for an extra person; unless they have their heads tightly leaned in together. A 4-person conversation makes a castle of solitude – don’t even bother.

"Why Body Language is Critical for Facilitators" Excerpt: Hand-shakes

Hand-shakes: This one is note-worthy and can be observed on a daily basis. How a person approaches a handshake indicates sentiment of being open/submissive or whether they want to assert dominance. Again, this comes back to palms up / palms down. If a person approaches with palms down, it’s less likely they want to be on equal footing with you, that means they want to be in a position of control. If they come in for a shake palms up, they are showing you they have nothing to hide and it shows openness. As expected, a handshake that occurs vertically shows equal footing.

Decoding Deceptive Body Language

Decoding Deceptive Body Language
more...less...
This presentation will show the truths and lies of body language deception. How can we show non-verbal communication through our bodies?

Do you lean in or fade away?

Body Language: Try not to take every piece of body language literally. You want to read all of the person’s interactions as a whole. Excerpt:

Slouching – makes you look insecure - as if you are trying to take up less space.
How you tilt your head – if you tilt it slightly to one side, it shows you are listening intently and interested. Too much and you look submissive. Keeping you head straight up shows you are confident in what you are saying.
Lean into a conversation – when you lean in you are showing that you are more involved and interested in a conversation. When you lean out of a conversation it shows that you are done participating in it.
Make eye contact – don’t stare someone down because that is just uncomfortable. But avoiding eye contact gives the impression that you are being insincere or lying.
Relax your shoulders – it is a sign of stress and tension when they are raised. It sends a signal that will put your conversation partner on edge too.
Make your handshake firm – this is another move that shows engagement and confidence. Too tight and it will be viewed as aggressive, while if it is too loose it communicates complete lack of interest.
Mind your hands – keeping your hands clasped behind your back shows confidence; while in your pockets can show over-confidence or boredom. Hands clasped over your belly area looks like you are trying to protect yourself from an attack, and will put your conversation partner on the defensive.

Paying attention to empathy... What would you feel in their shoes?
Exercise: When you feel a negative or positive emotion, what did your body do reflexively?
A smile, clenched fist, tight jaw or staring at the ground will all correlate to your feelings. Pause when you feel a particular emotion and see what your body is doing.
The way we use body language isn’t just a projection of our feelings, it also affects our own feelings.
Pay attention to the link between your body language and you emotions.
What happens when you feel insecure socially? For most people, their hands go in their pockets. Many people will fidget. Shallow breathing usually accompanies all of it.
Becoming self aware of your body reactions - will not only help improve your emotional sensitivity, it will also give you the power to change your emotions.
Act happy - feel happy. Fake it until you Feel it
Next: Based on your own self-observations, you’ll be able to tell a lot about other people’s feelings. Is his fist clenched? That probably indicates stress. Hands in her pockets? She might be feeling insecure.
If you’ve experienced it, you’ll be able to see it in others. Match your own self observations to the way other people behave.
Leave the social media, text, and emails alone in order to give your full attention.
Listen to Understand, Not to Reply
Listen well enough you can paraphrase it back, not just act like a tape recorder and parrot it back.
Listen with your heart: Try to feel what they are feeling
It’s hard to truly understand what someone else is feeling when we’re just waiting to start talking again.
Look at their facial expression and body position. Listen to their voice pitch and tone.

Human Relations - Topics & Resources: Body Language